Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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