I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
