I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
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