Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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