it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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