We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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