there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
