All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
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John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Lo siento on account of my penis...
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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