Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Randomize
