So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it penis luge time yet?
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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