and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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