I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
