It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
Randomize
