But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
