dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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