Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
