I wish life had little blips of pornography
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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