you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
