just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
