so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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