im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
the day after is always just damage control
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
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