Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
be right there i have to get my cape
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Randomize
