do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Randomize
