Tell her she can't have a vagina
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
