Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Found the puke drawer
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
