fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
