Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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