ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
