haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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