you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
