please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
