he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
This toilet bowl is my home.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
