You smell like a Billy Joel song
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Randomize
