i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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