I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
