i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
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