That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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