honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
