If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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