I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
