Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
