her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
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At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
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at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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