Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
