the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
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