i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
