Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Randomize
