so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
