There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
So squirting runs in the family.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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