i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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