there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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