I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
