Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
In other news, I just burned my penis
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
