I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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