If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
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