that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
