Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I enjoy the company of your penis
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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