she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
