one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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