I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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