I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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