then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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