When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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