I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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