The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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