i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
A+ Viking dick
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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