I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
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