I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
