I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
pop tarts are not kleenex
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
